Herbalicious, baby

Did you hear about the ayurvedic doctor who went to a nightclub?


He wanted to shake his jadibooti.

Things that make you go "sheesh"

What do you call a trendy piece of meat?



Chic Kabab

Dandiya March

What do you call the president of Russia when he goes to a Navratri celebration?

Garba Rasputin

(so many levels)

Waffling around (or sprouting pearls of wisdom)

What you call a Belgian separatist with a cold?



Flemish

The flautist

Why does nobody like the guy who plays the flute?

Because he blows, man.

I'm so happy I could graduate

Did you hear about the guy who fainted when he graduated college?


He passed out.

Poultry in motion

Did you hear about the cull of chickens in east Asia?

It was murder most fowl

Chris almighty

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken

~credit Nikhilesh's friend Rono

Tree's a crowd

Why didn't the tree say anything when it was cut down?

Because it was stumped.

Travelling incognito

Why did the New York policeman not wear his uniform on the flight to London?

Because he was in his plane clothes.

Existential Questions

What would a corn with an identity crisis say?


Main corn hoon?

On-ion

Where do you get the best onions in Afghanistan?


Kanda-har.

Arabian Dudhs

What do you call an Arab who likes his chocolate milk cold and with vanilla ice cream?

Milk Sheikh

What do you call the gents loo on Alitalia?



Genitalia

Suketu Mehta is writing a book about psychics in Bombay.
He’s calling it Medium City.

What do you call a café that erratically features poetry performances?


It could be verse

Cry me a River

Why do couples in Egypt find it so hard to get over their relationships?


Because they're in de-Nile.

Why did Tchaivosky die nine days after the premier of his Sixth Symphony?

Because it was Pathétique

And now that we're at it, why was Tchaikovshy so much more famous than his younger brother?

Because his brother was too Modest

What do you call a discotheque that has shut down?

De-funked


What do you call an exercise regime invented by Maharashtrian aunties?

Tai chi

Children of Boredom

I'm going to have 1 son and 1 daughter.

I will name my son "beta" and my daughter "alpha".

Big B

What did Amitabh Bachchan say when he met his mistress?

Eureka!

One Flu Over The Cukoo's Nest

Why did the cough and cold's mum not let them hang out with the flu?

Because he was a bad influenza on them.

A Professor TeaLoony Special

How does a Bohemian cry?

Bohohoho....
----
What do you call a snobbish cup tea?

Snoo-tea
----
What cup of tea went to the oscars?

Capo-tea
----
What do you call three teas hanging out together?

Cha cha cha
----
What kind of tea does Nandan grow?

Goa-tea


~Credit: Professor TeaLoony

Pollyticks

What do you call it when the Jamaican government's upper house of representatives meets with the lower house of representatives?



A Joint Session of Parliament

Forgetfool

Women always say men are forgetting stuff.

Stinky or Skinny?

Women avoid me either because of my breath, or my width.

Guess my friends, guess

Does anyone dare guess what that is?
(And yes, it's a nofunnyjoke)

Credit: My little cousin sister Monica