The flautist

Why does nobody like the guy who plays the flute?

Because he blows, man.

I'm so happy I could graduate

Did you hear about the guy who fainted when he graduated college?

He passed out.

Poultry in motion

Did you hear about the cull of chickens in east Asia?

It was murder most fowl

Chris almighty

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken

~credit Nikhilesh's friend Rono

Tree's a crowd

Why didn't the tree say anything when it was cut down?

Because it was stumped.

Travelling incognito

Why did the New York policeman not wear his uniform on the flight to London?

Because he was in his plane clothes.